To Be Unforgiving Is To Hate?

Something came to me today that I think is a very important issue to press in on. The issue at hand is this - to hate is to be unforgiving and to be unforgiving is to hate. This might not sound profound to people, I am pretty sure we can all agree on the fact that if I am choosing not to forgive someone I am obviously holding onto something that they did to me that I will not release, which translates to hating that person. Hate is action just as love is action. The word "hate" means to "cherish animosity against". The manifestation of hate is unforgiveness, no? Let's look at 1John with this new information.

"Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him." 1 John 2:9-11

So we see that unforgiveness is an act of hate, just as forgiveness is an act of love. SO I feel one could appropriately substitute the the phrase "does not forgive his brother" for the word "hate" and we would be within the bounds of scripture.

"Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him." 1 John 3:15

You have murdered them. You are more than likely murdering their character to others and they might as well be dead as far as you are concerned because you want nothing to do with them.

In Matthew 18 we have the parable of the unforgiving servant. To summarize (I recommend reading it) this servant begged his Master to give him more time to pay a debt, but the Master went ahead and forgave it totally. This servant then proceeds to choke another guy for not paying him the money he owed him. The word got back to the Master of that servant and the Master threw this man and his family in prison, handing them to their tormentors.

So why was what this servant did such a violation of the Master's standard? Because this servant was indirectly telling his Master that he was worthy of the Master's forgiveness but the man he was strangling was not worthy of forgiveness. Unforgiveness is the ultimate form of pride. You are saying with your actions that you were not that bad of a person; that you had the rights to forgiveness. So what does God do in response? He strips you of your forgiveness! So if unforgiveness is pride, we know that "He resists the prideful, but gives grace unto the humble." That word resist means "to stand against, oppose". And what a more full way for God to oppose an individual by not granting them the forgiveness they also desparately need.

"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." Matthew 18:35

So this makes sense now. You are stooped in darkness if you refuse to forgive! 1 John 2:9-11 hit the nail on the head (refer above) But why are you in darkness? Because you are handed over to your tormentors, and what is more dark than giving the enemy a foothold in your life?

We need to transcend our narrow focus. If we choose not to forgive, we are not mature in our faith as this is the main, underlying value in our faith. If we do not forgive others (and yes, even if they didn't ask) we have a dim and arrogant view of our own sins in light of God's holiness. You are saying without saying that you were not that bad of a person.

So how do we overcome unforgiveness? By blitzing it with action! Faith without action is dead, right? So we see 1 John 1:7 states, "But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin."

Do you see this? He is basically saying this in a nutshell: "Put faith behind your actions through obedience even if you don't feel like it yet and then Jesus will swoop in with the supernatural feelings of genuine forgiveness." Allow me to explain myself. It says if I walk in the light as He is in the light ( which is to say, if I choose to do good as He chose to do good ) then, and ONLY THEN will Jesus' blood be appropriated to me to begin purifying me from my evil feelings towards an individual.
Remember the reaping and sowing principles we have discussed in earlier devotions? "Be not deceived, GOD IS NOT MOCKED, whatsoever a man sows, this will he also reap." Remember? If you sow to the Spirit you reap eternal life which is to know God better. If you sow to the flesh what do you have to reap? CORRUPTION!

So thats why hate and unforgiveness get worse and worse, becaus God is not mocked. Once we have knowledge from God, we are to act on that knowledge no matter how hard it is. The reason is so we can begin to receive healing from our broken feelings. The dictionary definition of forgiveness is "to cease to feel resentment against; pardon; to give up claim to requittal; to grant relief from payment." So until you are there (to forgiveness), you have not prayed through to forgiveness well enough and no, God does not understand why you hold onto your unforgiveness. I do not say that to be harsh but we have no Biblical excuses to remain hostile towards anybody! And I say this bluntly so no one walks away from this godly teaching moment giving themselves an excuse on why they have not forgiven someone yet.

Remember, faith without action is dead. He says through James, "Draw nigh unto me (you first) then I will draw near to you (Him second)." Let's not confuse this with our original calling to salvation, God always makes the first move, but this is in the context of a person already having saving knowledge.

So how do we draw nigh to God? By seeking Him in prayer and acting out our knowledge which translates to godly wisdom and active faith...the type of faith that gives me the ability to "Love those who curse me". Call the person you hate. Buy them a gift, something you would like to have yourself. Seek their forgiveness for the curses you have spoken against them. Pray for this person until you want them blessed! IT WORKS!! If you do not do this you are not saying no to me, you are saying a vehement no to God, because we are just facilitators of His wonderful truths. This opens amazing doors to potential salvation as well. LOVE THEM!! Not with your mouth but with your actions!! If you do this, God will honor your obedience and allow genuine, emotional healing from your wounds. You do not believe me? Seek it until it is found, you will see. But remember, sometimes broken feelings are still a result of God "handing us over to our tormentors" because we have refused to obey Him in this fundamental matter. Never forget that. If you do not have the emotional healing God desires for you, the fault lies not with God, but with your current application (or lack thereof) of His liberating truths. "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free" WHEN WE APPROPRIATE IT!

Here is a quote the Lord blessed me with today:

"When we act out our faith (i.e. obeying when its inconvenient), we tap into God's unlimited resources of grace for our own lives, the power to overcome (in changing how we feel towards something or someone). Without such resources we are subject to the enemy (tormentors Matthew 18:34) and we are powerless against his flaming arrows of bitterness and deceit."

So often times we want it backwards, we want the feeling to be obedient instead if disciplining ourselves to be obedient. God will not give you the "healing feeling" until you ACT on your FAITH!

Thanks for reading everyone! I pray this has blessed someone! Let's seek to know Him better so we can begin to receive healing, instead of stubbornly rebelling against His divine plan and only reaping feelings of greater hostility towards people who have wronged us, a.k.a. reaping corruption.

Love you brothers and sisters!
Sincerely,
Chris Goff